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It is
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2008.12.03 23.14
i don't remember how to make friends.
how on earth do i go about meeting people who don't go to my school?
i give up on sva, NEW YORK, IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?
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2008.05.06 17.58
i cannot wait until everyday of my life feels as good
as the song, Route to Palm sounds. Just think,
it's almost next Wednesday.
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2008.04.08 17.10
fuck the bank.
fuck money.
fuck the fact i can't remember my pin #.
shit. fuck.
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2008.04.06 00.06
FINALLY.
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2008.03.24 23.55
i don't have much to say anymore.
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2008.03.02 22.01
Just like those t-shirts say, "life is good".
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2008.02.28 21.19
I can't wait to do this for serious.
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2008.02.02 00.09
For Cassidy:
The little girl says to her mom, "Look at that walrus! Walrus! Look at that!" She has a little pink sun hat on her head. She has little pink cheeks. She is a little pink girl. "Can we swim too?" she says.
"No, don't be ridiculous," the mother says.
"Don't be," her little brother says.
I climb over the fence, onto the edge of the walrus tank where I can balance easy. That fence doesn't keep anyone out at all, which makes it a trick. It tricks people into keeping themselves out. Ridiculous? Everyone else on the tour is gone to the sea cucumbers, but not me. Look at that! Look at that walrus, walrus, walrus. This is one of those moments when I can hear my own thoughts and they are thinking themselves for me.
I am going to swim with a big fat pink walrus today, even though really it should be that little pink girl swimming. I will swim for her. I will swim on her behalf and on behalf of everyone who has to follow orders just because they are small and pink.
& everyone else.
Music: cat power
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2008.01.29 14.06
i feel all new inside.
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2008.01.06 01.48
In the prettiest little town, we will rebuild.
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2007.11.25 22.00
This one
has
value.
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2007.11.25 00.09
January.
There are certain points in your life,
where you have to break the rules
that you set for yourself.
A life defined, is not a life worth living.
You should not bind yourself
into one word.
You are much too good for that.
Please, do something out of your ordinary today.
It will make you feel better.
Mood:  hopeful
Music: spoon.
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2007.08.27 21.44
I am so mad that i cannot band space & time.
&/or that i am not 18 & have no gas in my car.
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2007.05.16 22.40
I wish you bluebirds in the spring.
"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone i knew in the sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real - but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
- Chuck Klosterman
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2007.05.11 01.31
these days, arms are legs.
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2007.04.21 15.35
You take your steps away from me.
One of the worst feelings in the world
is when you realize that as much
as you said you wouldn't
you are making all the same mistakes
over again.
Liking boys who like drugs.
It just doesn't work.
Because you're always going to be
2nd best.
This is terrible.
Mood:  crappy
Music: Cautioners-Jimmy Eat World.
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2007.03.30 23.16
"Never Ending Math Equation"
I'm the same as I was when I was 6 years old
And oh my God I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything
On a plane, I can see the tiny lights below
And oh my God, they look so alone
Do they really feel anything?
Oh my God, I've gotta gotta gotta gotta move on
Where do you move when what you're moving from
Is yourself?
The universe works on a math equation
that never even ever really ends in the end
Infinity spirals out creation
We're on the tip of its tongue, and it is saying
We aint sure where you stand
You aint machines and you aint land
And the plants and the animals, they are linked
And the plants and the animals eat each other
Oh my God and oh my cat
I told my Dad what I need
Well I know what I have and want
But I don't know what I need
Well, he said he said he said he said
"Where we're going I'm dead."
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littleb_ird's journal
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